I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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