sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need to calm my uterus...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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