I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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