well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
