Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
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