This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
