Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
