That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
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Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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