he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
