I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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