why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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