told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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