I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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