ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
