My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
