dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
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All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
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I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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