Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
