why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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