Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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