just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
