she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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