The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
