cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So many bounce houses so little time
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
