Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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