Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
