yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
