Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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