Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
