Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
