...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
