Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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