My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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