Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I skipped work to stalk him.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
