I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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