I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
