yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
