Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
