please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
