you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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