i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
