member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
