And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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