dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
