Her vagina should come with caution tape.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.