There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta