Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...