he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
