I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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