The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
