Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
