He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
