I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This baby is an asshole
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
