He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
