the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
