i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
