would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
