i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
