Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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