Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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