so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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