no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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