Cold hands, warm shart.
this boner is exhausting
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
