I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
