He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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