Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
