was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
