Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
